What A Difference A Year Makes

School is out for summer and for most teachers this is the best time of year. This year was different for me, it was a year of change and transformation. Sure I am happy for the slow morning starts and lazy days of summer but my mind is still racing, still thinking, still worrying. The story of this school year starts in August and it has transformed me forever as a teacher.

The August back to school routine is always the same, labeling everything, decorating the room, and getting things set up for the new year. 2 years ago I accepted the position of a special education co-teacher. My  room has about 1/2 students who are in the special education program and 1/2 who need extra help.  So the first day arrived and we did all the beginning of the year stuff. I really didn't know at that moment where this year was going to take me. Each child has a story, however some are harder than others. I had parents in and out of jail, grandparents and family members raising kids and some with a home life that would make you shutter.

It was around Christmas that I realized we were doing so much more than learning math and reading, we were counslers and parents. I have spent so many days giving a hug and comforting a little one through their latest problem. I have spent many days listening to the what is on their heart while tears stung my eyes. I have spent more sleepless nights than I care to count worrying about these little souls. I spent every morning praying over each one of them in my classroom and praying to God to give me the strength I might need to get me through the day.  Through this God transformed me. He guided to me to see the human side of situations, to try to understand where these parents and children were coming from. He opened my eyes and my heart. It wasn't the kids who changed, it was me. It took 12 years but I felt the change, the understanding and the patience that I needed. I have fought for these kids, I have stretched myself far beyond my comfort level. I am happy to report some of those battles I won and even the ones I didn't have changed me as a person. I am no longer the teacher I was in August, last year, or 12 years ago, I have changed. I am grateful for every little person that touched my heart this year, I am grateful for administrators that believed in me no matter what and I am grateful for my friends.

I wish I could share pictures of these precious little ones and I would love to tell you their stories, but they are thier stories to tell and they are not finished. I know God knows their stories and how they will end and I have faith that he guides and protects them each day. My quote for the year has been "Let your faith be bigger than your fear,"

I can share a few pictures of the end of the school year at the end of the day. In all the pictures we have sunglasses on because I was sobbing minutes before this as my class was leaving.

These two girls have been by my side all year. Kyla in the middle is my co-teacher and Brandi is across the hall.

The buses arriving for the final time

My co-teacher Kyla and me taking our end of the year selfie